1st to 5th June 2004

What's It All About...

Well - that's another Beer Festival over and done with!!!
I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to take you through the highs and lows, and give you an insight into what it's like not only visiting a beer festival, but also working at and organising one.

To Start Off With...

A festival starts almost immediately after the previous one ends. In our branch, we have 3 to organise, so I guess the work around creating the festivals runs concurrently with each other. Anyway, as I said, as soon as one ends it's time to think about the next one.
The very first things to think about are booking the venue, stillage, cooling systems and bars. With an increasing number of CAMRA and Pub beer festivals every year, we need to get in early. We then turn our thoughts towards which beers to order. As you may know, we always try to create a specialty bar (this years being Cornish), so that's generally the beginning.

As the months roll on, members of the branch give suggestions as to the beers they'd like to see. A trip to Manchester may spark an interest in a particular Titanic beer, or another weekend in Sheffield could end up in the suggestion of Kelham Island. Whatever the reason, it's always important that branch members participate in the choosing of beers for their festival.

Of course, there are old favorites to be added to the list. No Essex Beer Festival is complete without a drop of Crab & Winkle, or Brewers Gold. And whilst we like to have a rough idea of our order early on, we can’t put the actual order in until a few weeks before the festival – this allows us to find out what seasonal “specials” are being brewed. Inevitably, there are suddenly more beers than one can cope with. It's worth noting that only around 90 or so beers can be ordered, so final selection is crucial.

The Venue...

Ensuring that all-important venue is critical. I visit a number of festivals throughout the year, and I can say that ours is held in one of the most atmospheric places I've been to, so far.
For those of you who don't know, the Colchester Arts Centre is our chosen venue of recent years. We've also had festivals at the Colchester Institute on Sheepen Road, but a college hall doesn't compare with this converted church, complete with stained glass windows!
Unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, our little festival is growing larger than can be accommodated at the Arts Centre, but more on that later.

A Million And One Things...

So you've got some beer - on order at least - and somewhere to serve it from, so is that it then? Why, this Beer Festival lark is a doddle....Ummm, not quite, I'm afraid. So far we've only scratched the tip of the iceberg.

Every CAMRA Beer Festival has to undergo a formal authorisation process, for a start. This involves preparing and submitting a budget to CAMRA HQ and an independent Scrutineer, to show that you do know what you're doing and are going about it in the right way. Once approved we get our first whacking great bill – the festival insurance policy!

Food is also an important part of the modern festival. Nothing goes down quite as well as a hot dog with onions and a dark porter. If you're very lucky, you'll come across a festival with a real Hog Roast, or a selection of exotic foods and cheeses, as with Chelmsford's summer festival. Unfortunately, at Colchester, we're very limited to the size of any food stall, as there isn't a huge amount of free space either in the hall or outside it.

Having said that, it doesn't stop us hunting the land for prize pork scratchings, and award winning 'real' crisps - not a Gary Lineker in sight!

We then move on to the alternatives to the Ale, namely Cider, Perry, Wine and Belgian Beer.

The Belgian beers can be ordered and stored in advance of the festival, as it's bottled, so some poor smuck ends up with his garage, kitchen, hallway and bedroom full of crates of beer. "I'd have some of that!", I hear you say...wouldn't we all, but it's a bit of a mine field challenging yourself to a self built assault course at 2 in the morning. And you thought hitting the middle of the loo was hard work!

The ordering of the Cider and Perry doesn't cause quite as much of a headache, purely due to the numbers involved, but woe betied the man that asks what the strength is. Anything from "It'll get you merry, it will" to "What month we in?" is the reply, so it's finger in the air and flip a coin time. My general observations of cider drinkers have told me that it's not as important a question as, "Can I see through it?", so let's just say we get lucky on that one.

Even More Stuff To Do....

The months roll on, and tasks are tackled.

The annual festival design comes forth from the great bearded one, which allows t-shirts, posters and leaflets to go into print. Having sweated over said design, the bearded one can then launch himself into the program. A frenzy of advertising selling then ensues, where no landlord is safe.

Goodness me! It's starting to happen!

The last few tasks of press-ganging volunteers into working at the festival, sorting out the last few beers that were swapped at the last minute, and other assorted, time consuming vagaries and we're about there.

The Promo Crawl...

Festival Promo Crawl

Finally, it's time to let ones hair down ever so slightly and enjoy the fruits of ones efforts.

For me, this generally involves dressing up in tights, piling on layers of face paint and getting completely plastered! Yes, I am of course talking about the promotional crawl.

Now, for those of you who have never tried this East Anglian oddity, I sympathise. Is it the sheltered life you've perhaps led, or just the aversion to making a complete arse of yourself that's perhaps put you off the idea.

Whatever the reason, could I now recommend that you pencil in the middle of next May, alert your nearest costume shop and prepare yourself....10 pints of Old Growler a day should just about do it. If you don't believe me, then take a look at this...

The reason for all this, which I should get back to of course, is to promote the festival. As we wander from pub to pub, leaflets are handed to unsuspecting passers by, letting them know of the forthcoming festival.

All joking aside, this is one of the most important and enjoyable tasks we have, and is obviously aided by greater numbers, so we'll expect YOU next year.

The set up continued ....