Both teams met in the Bricklayers Arms, where Adnams' new Explorer Ale was sampled to generally positive comments. Unfortunately the drinking session was interrupted when someone reminded us why we were there - the first ever cricket match between Colchester and Ipswich CAMRA, comprising 20-overs per side. In fact, the first time Colchester CAMRA had ever fielded a cricket team, although thankfully a few of our team had played for the Real Oddies and St Martins.

         

To much amusement, Oily announced that he had chained his bike to Toss's - but had left his key at home! So even the hardy cyclists piled into cars, drove up the Bergholt Road, then discovered that the road towards the Mile End cricket ground had been designated buses only. A hasty retreat, round the block, and we were there, meeting umpire Al Wareham - who had arrived at the ground an hour earlier. Thank goodness someone was sober! The Farmers had turned up with only nine players, so we generously volunteered them the services of Oily (for being a prat!) and Harry, who no-one had ever seen move at more than 3 mph. Oily happened to mention that he'd once played wicket keeper at junior school, which Ipswich felt was good enough for them. Team photos were taken, the coin tossed, and Colchester put Ipswich in to bat first. The openers, Last and Birley, stood confidently in front of the fluorescent orange stumps, whilst we wandered around aimlessly, wondering what we were doing in the middle of the countryside on a Saturday afternoon whilst the pubs were still open.

         

Pete Pearson, instructed to slow down his normal blistering pace, opened the bowling well, but the batsmen got into their stride against Keith Hallett. With only two overs per bowler allowed, the frugality ended with the introduction of Jules and Tweedy, and the scoring rate rose quickly. Then came the breakthrough. A cracking ball by Tweedy bounced off wicket keeper John Hepburn's pads, and onto the stumps. No-one actually noticed or appealed, but the square leg umpire (from Ipswich) lifted his finger, and a slightly aggrieved Last wandered off the pitch, the score being 38-1. To give everyone a go, we had agreed that batsmen would retire if they reached 25, and the dangerous Birley left the field soon after, having scored 26. In came Ipswich Captain, Ray Slegg, who was despatched first ball, caught off another Tweedy delivery. 53-2. The next bowling change brought on Beans and Big Dave Nunn, who started with a wide, then had Shipperley caught off his third delivery. Rumours of a small earthquake in Colchester that afternoon are totally unfounded - it was just Dave falling over trying to stop a straight drive off his own bowling. Big D went totally mad in his second over, dismissing Harvey and P Taylor in successive balls. The field was brought in worryingly close for his attempt at the hat-trick, but a classic forward defensive shot ensured no-one was hurt - and Dave didn't have to buy a jug!

         

Colchester's final four bowlers, Rob Atkinson, Steve Ellis, Jon Bennett and Toss were particularly frugal against the tail enders, with Rob dismissing Docherty, Jon bowling out Blallan, and Toss bowling Harry, who had surprised everyone with a couple of aggressive shots and speedy running between the wickets. Oily Paul was unlucky, being called to run on the final ball of the innings, when even Linford Christie would not have reached the other end before the ball. Having already lost a few minutes play to a heavy shower (and with no-one remembering to bring any beer), we decided to turn round immediately, and Ipswich took to the field. John Hepburn and Steve Ellis looked confident as they strolled out to the wicket, needing 99 to win. John started well with 2 runs off the second ball, but was then clean bowled by A Taylor. No problem, we thought - if the next man in, Jon Bennett, could bat as well as he bowled, we should still see them off with plenty of overs in hand. Confidence soon turned to despair, as Jon went first ball to a dubious LBW decision (given by Al Wareham of Colchester). Next man in, Dave Nunn, lasted two balls before seeing his middle stump fly out the ground. One over gone, Colchester were 3 wickets for 2 runs, and all was not well.

         

Things got worse in the third over, when Beans was bowled by Shipperley and Steve, after a promising start, was run out for 7. In came the mighty Jules - a regular cricketer who promised to save us all. Then back came Jules, clean bowled first ball, again by Shipperley. Apparently there was a hole in his bat! After five overs, Colchester were 14-6, and facing a rapid return to the pub. The sixth over was excellent for us - no wickets down, Keith and Toss at the crease, and six runs scored. Surely things were turning. Buoyed up by Toss's strong play, Keith started to hit out, but was caught off Shipperley in the seventh over. He was replaced by Pete Pearson, who quickly settled into a rhythm, and suddenly there was hope - albeit with only three wickets left, and sixty runs needed. With Ipswich's main bowlers already used, Toss and Pete settled into a rhythm. Toss would hit the ball for four - or keep Harry busy at deep square leg, where he probably got more exercise than he normally has in a year; whilst Pete would paddle the ball round the corner with an array of professional-looking shots, and tonk the occasional boundary for good measure. Suddenly we were in mid-seventies, but rules is rules, and when Toss reached his quarter century, he retired, to be replaced by Rob. Something of an unknown quantity, Rob stayed around for a couple of overs, playing an excellent supporting role to Pete. Unfortunately, with only four runs to his credit, he tapped a rising ball from Docherty up in the air, to be caught behind by wicket keeper Oily Paul, whose previous main contribution had been a spectacularly missed run-out opportunity.

         

Then came last man Tweedy, for whom nothing is ever straightforward. First he forgot his box, then had to come back for his gloves. Having fended off a couple of balls, he ducked to avoid a ball being fielded from the deep, but actually ducked into it, receiving a heavy blow on the side of the head. Someone should have told him that you don't head the ball in cricket! He dropped like a stone, but thankfully, after what seemed like an age laying on the ground, got up to continue his innings. Unfortunately he skied the next ball, which dropped straight into Oily's gloves. Now for a useful interpretation of the rules. When it was agreed that batsmen would retire at 25, it was also decided that they could return to the crease at the end of the innings if needed. The fast-scoring Birley of Ipswich could not come back, as they had run out of overs, but we still had five overs left, so Toss rejoined Pete, with 15 runs need to win. Three runs came off the rest of Docherty's over and Ipswich, perhaps realising the end was near, called on Colchester loanee Harry. A few spectacular wides, and punishment of the straight balls by Toss and Pete, and the winning run came with four overs to spare. The match was, of course, played in the best possible spirit, and Ipswich manfully accepted the second part of the challenge - the drinking. We decamped to the Fox & Fiddler, where landlord Jeff had succumbed to Jules' charms (threats?) and barred all Greene King Ales for the day, replacing them with a fine selection from Mighty Oak and Crouch Vale.

       

Jeff and Bev had laid on a fantastic spread of food. Had both sides tackled the batting with the same enthusiasm that they piled into the food & drink, some fantastic scores could have been reached. The Fox has got a great jukebox, but when karaoke started to intrude, it was time to go. Most of the Ipswich crowd had not sampled the delights of our Pub of the Year, so we strolled round to the Odd One Out, where six ales were on display. In the interests of being sociable, even most of the smokers sat in the non-smoking bar, discussing the finer points of the day's game, and generally putting the world to rights. When the last Farmer had left to catch the train, the remaining Colchester players faded into the distance (actually back to the Fox or the British Grenadier for last orders).
All in all a most enjoyable day with quite a few surprises. We look forward to the return match.